Destiny's game
by LadyJessYU
Summary: "Sometimes a hard sacrifice must be made for a future that's worth having." A story of two people putting their personal futures aside for the sake of their people. Post season 2. Arranged marriage AU
1. Chapter 1

So, a while ago **dragonfire1999** came up to me with this idea and I had to take it. It is for an extremely rare pairing and a trope I always wanted to write. It is new and challenging and amazing experience and I'd like to thank **dragonfire1999** here for the opportunity.

* * *

"I say we kill them all!"

"They pose no threat!" another voice chips in.

"They are not like us."

"They are taking over the Mountain. Should we wait for them to take our lands as well?"

Half of the people are nodding, while the rest grunt in disapproval.

Lexa closes her eyes letting the arguing of the Ambassadors become indistinct murmuring. Her hands fall casually on the armrest of her throne, but inside of her there is nothing but tension. She knew it would be an arduous task convincing the others to invite the Skaikru to join the Coalition. Even the treaty might be in question. Had Clarke been here, had Lexa not taken the offer of the Mountain men… but that is not the case. She lifts her hand waiting for silence. She doesn't have to wait long.

"Ambassadors of the Coalition," she begins, her leveled voice echoing in the room, "I have gathered you here today to discuss the fate of the Skaikru. I heard your concerns, and while I do share some of them, I want you now to hear mine. You say we should destroy the ones who rid us of our greatest enemy. Some of you are still hunting Wanheda despite my explicit orders." she pauses, waiting for the others to bring to mind the sight of the mercenary's corpse outside, birds and bugs feasting on his flesh, "After years of fighting the Mountain, we finally are at peace. Should we start killing each other again? Our people…"

"Skaikru are not our people." the Ambassador of Azgeda interrupts.

"At the moment." Lexa drags out the words, hoping to contain her anger, "Our people need to know that peace is a possibility. Should we not raise our children so we can send them to provide for their families, hunt and learn, not only to die?" she stops, as her words are mostly falling on deaf ears, "You are dismissed. We shall continue tomorrow."

The Ambassadors leave in small groups. Lexa can hear them; she can feel they are losing confidence in her leadership. She rushes to her quarters before Titus can say anything. His lectures are not what she needs, she needs to be alone. If she doesn't thread carefully bad things will happen. To her, to everybody. The plotters are getting impatient, it is not only Azgeda now.

When she opens the door, the candles are already lit, soft glow's illuminating the room. She moves to the balcony, the Sun is setting behind the city making it appear on fire. Will it happen? Will she see the place of her first real memories burn? It had happened before. The faint murmur of the people's chatter retiring to their homes reaches high up to her solitary tower. This is who she's been working for. But one imprudent move could make it all perish. Ever since she's learned of Clarke's victory she's been wreaking her brain on what to do next, how to keep everything together. She needs to find a way to make this alliance happen. It's high time she sought help. She needs guidance.

The servant boy is called to make the arrangements. Meticulously, he is grinding the herbs; yellow flower buds are releasing sweet sharp scent, already nudging Lexa into the desired state. However careful he is, she can hear his still unskilled hands as the small chunks of leaves are being dropped into the goblet. Then, the hot liquor is poured over. The fumes make the boy cough. He waits to steady himself before placing the goblet on the floor, near Lexa's right hand. With a small nod, she gestures the boy to leave. The door shuts with a click. Three times she inhales then exhales slowly. The final rays of Sun are moving over her eyelids.

"I call upon the spirit to aid me in this task. I seek guidance of the wise ones who came before me."

Steadily, she drifts into another world, heavy thoughts plaguing her mind.

Lexa opens her eyes to a dark forest. It doesn't take long for her to recognize the area. Mist has settled low, clocking the ground. No wind. No sound. She walks slowly, the crunching of the dried leaves is the sole sound in the dead forest. Tall trees with sprawling limbs tower above her, letting the moonlight illuminate her way. Lexa is positive she cannot be harmed in a vision yet the eerie setting does not let her rest. She pricks up her ears and takes out the weapon. The knuckles are becoming white from gripping the dagger tightly.

In the corner of her eye, she catches a glimpse of flashing light. She whirls towards it. Too late, it is already gone. When she turns back, a woman with sad eyes is staring at her. In surprise, Lexa stumbles back bumping into a fallen tree. The white smoke parts for a moment to reveal its moist, mossy surface.

"Becca?" she utters in relief. The first Natblida is here to guide her.

Without a word Becca turns, the mist gradually swallowing up her small figure as she marches on.

Lexa follows suit, her feet quickly finding the needed rhythm. Soon, it starts to feel like they are walking in circles, nothing is changing around them. Lexa knows that asking questions is pointless. Patience is the first thing she's learned from these visions.

A clearing appears out of nowhere. The field of fresh, tiny flowers leading up to a hill. On the top a bonfire is roaring. Two silhouettes stand in front of it. Lexa stops by Becca.

"Go to them." she says in that broken voice that always strikes something inside Lexa and follows her for days after.

She is walking up the hill, cackling of the fire reaching her ears. It burns bright, red and yellow twisting in an erratic dance. The figures remain indistinct, faces blurred. A man and a woman are facing each other. The woman's long hair and dress are flapping in the wind as is the tall man's unruly hair. Then, she notices the third figure standing close behind them. His long robe seems too heavy to be disturbed by the wind. She doesn't linger on him, though, knowing deep inside she should focus on the couple. If she focuses on one person, she can almost recognize something, but together there is nothing.

She turns back, Becca is gone. When she looks at the pair again, the female is drawing a knife, blade glistening in the light of fire. Lexa halts, petrified. The woman drags the blade slowly across her forearm. Lexa wants to move, to see more but cannot. She just stands there curiously observing the ritual. The man cuts his arm. The droplets of blood drip from their hands. They clasp them together. The third figure binds them with a ribbon before losing himself in the background again. The pair faces Lexa, raising their bound hands. Their eyes are burning into her. She can almost recognize them. Almost. The sound of the crowd cheering makes her tear her eyes away from them.

The blinding light hits her. She is back in her quarters, morning Sun blazing through the window. The candles are all burned down. Like always after a vision, she is drained. Only this time, it is worse. She reaches for the goblet but her shaking hands are callous. The drink spills and she stumbles up. Water at least will help her to pull herself together.

"Guards!" she calls once she gains control over her voice, "I need to speak to Fleimkepa. Now."

* * *

"What does it mean, teacher?" she asks again. Titus has not stopped pacing since she told him of the vision.

Deep down, Lexa is afraid of the visions. She always has been, time has not diminished that. Eventually, she's learned to decipher them, but this one left her confused. There is something different, something ominous about this one.

He halts at her plead. "It means… " he flops in the chair, an unceremonious move so unlike him, "What do you remember about Commander Sonya?"

She looks at him, puzzled. What does that have to do with anything? "She united her clan with the Delfikru."

"How?"

"I do not need a history lesson, Titus."

"What you saw was an ancient ritual performed to unite two souls for eternity. It hasn't been done for decades. Commander Sonya did it. She stopped a war and built the pillars of this Coalition."

"What sort of union?" she asks the redundant question.

"Marriage." he breathes out, like it is a forbidden word, a disgrace.

Lexa remains silent. Her thoughts go to Clarke. If only she were with her people. Lexa is sure however stubborn Clarke is, she would have been able to see the bigger picture. All the responsibility, the burden… she snorts, "To be Commander is to be alone." every word is filled with accusation.

"Heda-"

"Is that not what you've been telling me?"

"Heda, please…"

"All my life. Whenever someone came even close to look at me as something else but…." she stops, chest heaving. She refuses to lose control.

Titus sees that frightened girl behind the great Heda whom he's been hiding from the world. She emerges rarely now but when she does, it changes everything. Again, she is put in a position to sacrifice the last bit of herself, "It would be for the public. You will not have to- There's still another way."

"Enough people have died, Titus. I will not wipe out her people. I will not sacrifice anyone else for fear of war."

"Only yourself." Titus says grimly.

"I need to think. Leave me."

It takes days of being cooped up in her quarters before she can reach some semblance of a decision. The mere idea of marriage is absurd. Not once in her life, not even during those blissful moments with Costia or when she believed peace to be on the horizon did she think of marriage. For a Commander to bind someone to herself is selfish. It is reckless. But this will not be like it could have been.

The more she thinks about it, the more sick she feels. To share a life with any person currently residing in Arkadia is unfathomable. Her body rejects the idea like it is a virus. "Head, not heart." she repeats the mantra, "Head, not heart." This would be for peace, for her people. The Skaikru deserves a chance. They deserve more. If she can do this, surely they will find one person to see reason. In their impractical hierarchy, there are many high ranking officials. She is no longer sure how many of them are considered leaders.

Lexa knows she has to put the proposition to a vote. If she just announces it, the other clans will see it as a stab in the back. A threat to their freedom. It takes another two long days for all the clan leaders to gather.

"This is an outrage!" the most vocal of them voices everybody's thoughts.

"This is a way to ensure they do not turn on us." and we on them goes unsaid by the Floukru Ambassador, "What better way to control them than to keep them close?"

"They are useless. Their guns will not hold forever. Let us wipe them out and be done with this."

Ignoring couple of nods of agreement, Lexa stands up. "Thank you, Commander Sienne for your ever helpful input. The Sky people have medicine, knowledge still unknown to us. I saw them bring Reapers back to men. We all saw their strategic skills. We have all suffered enough from the hands of Mountain Man. All we know of peace are from tales of the old world. But that does not mean peace should remain just that. Should we not at least try before marching into another war? Should we not try to learn to live instead of just trying to survive?" the pang of guilt and sorrow strikes her as she remembers who said those words, "There is no need to repeat myself. You have a choice – should we ready our children for bloodshed or for celebration?"

"Making a dynasty has to start somewhere, doesn't it?" says Nia, smirking.

"You will respect your Heda." Titus cuts in.

"We all know the Commander of the Trukru and especially Heda is not a hereditary tittle." Lexa comments, keeping her voice steady.

"And thanks to your choices, neither is the Azgeda throne." Indra adds, forgetting her place.

"Compensation was satisfactory, I assure you." she smiles gratefully, locking eyes with Lexa.

She hasn't been in Nia's presence in months but she can easily recognize the meaning behind that look. It takes much energy to keep all the memories at bay. She clenches her jaw and looks around the room, giving attention to every person separately, "Think about this. Vote and I shall respect your decision."

After what feels like hours of bickering, they deliberate. Some hands go up, some remain down. Lexa exhales slowly, unsure whether it is a victory or defeat. Only time will tell. "Indra." she calls her trusted General, "Take riders. Go to Arkadia and bring me Marcus Kane."


	2. Chapter 2

Kane is standing at the gates of Arkadia, gaze shifting between the camp and the horizon. The guards under Bellamy's watch are walking along the fence, ready to fire at any sign of trouble. Inside, children, small number that has survived the whole ordeal, are playing, unaware of the fleeting serenity. They are running with the ball Lincoln's made out of animal skin. Sheltered from the bad blood, they regard Lincoln as a friend. If only they could all live like that. Together, united in peace. He looks back towards the woods where at times an enemy lurks and at times a helping hand providing them with supplies. He feels a warm touch on his shoulder.

"Marcus?"

"Abby, what's the matter? I was only-"

"Indra's radioed. She wants a meeting by the forest road. She's waiting."

It has to be something important if she radioed. She's reluctantly agreed to use technology, and only if necessary. "I'll go right away."

As he takes a step, Abby pulls him back. "Take the gun. Just to be safe."

That threatens to start the same discussion they've been having for weeks. "I'm trying to build trust here, Abby." he takes her hand, "Don't worry. I'll be back before you know it."

Begrudgingly, she lets go.

Many would and probably do call it madness, his insistence on meeting up with the Grounders unarmed. On many occasions Bellamy insisted on accompanying him. But Bellamy tends to be a risk when near their hopefully future allies.

Kane walks the well-known road to the forest. Still, he is mesmerized by the sight in front of him. Vast green spreading, living and breathing mechanism providing life itself. He remembers his mother's stories and of Earth which to him always seemed like tall tales. How wrong he was.

He doesn't walk long before spotting Indra with the pair of warriors behind her. As he is approaching, her grim expression comes into focus. He is wondering what bad news she bears. He prays it is not war, they would not survive another one. They greet in by now a familiar manner. The pair behind her only nods. To Kane's credit, he's tried engaging them in a conversation, but it seems that is not their way.

"Is everything well?" he asks cautiously. He knows Indra would not lie.

"You have been invited to the capitol."

"To discuss the treaty?" Kane's been looking forward to that overdue talk. He's been preparing for negotiations since the first sign of a somewhat peaceful contact.

"To discuss the place of Skaikru on this land."

Her response makes him weary. "When?"

"Time is of the essence." is all she says.

Immediately, Kane radios Abby telling her he's going to Polis. After the initial arguing which makes Indra roll her eyes, Kane persuades her to keep this a secret for the time being.

He mounts a horse, the magnificent creature he's still getting used to, and they ride. He knows there's something Indra's not telling. Usually composed and alert, she now appears distracted. There's much on her mind, that is evident. And Kane is positive it has all to do with the impending meeting. They ride hurriedly through the forest, taking every possible shortcut. As the forest is becoming less dense, he tries to fish some information out of Indra. After couple of unsatisfactory answers, she finally tells him it's not her place to speak on the subject, and though he doesn't like it one bit, Kane can respect that. Many possible scenarios run through his mind, he doesn't notice they left the forest behind. There are no more trees to shield them from the Sun. His eyes are fixed on ahead for a long time when he spots something rising in the distance. He squints to look through the specks of dirt floating in the air.

Unsure whether it is only heat playing tricks on his mind, he remains quiet. But it looks so real, the high tower from the Old World standing tall. There is something like a flame on top of it, burning strong. Like a lighthouse, guiding lost sailors into the safe harbor. Kane hopes that even if it is a mind trick, it is a good sign. His face must have been very expressive because for the first time that day it is Indra who speaks first.

"I see our capitol has already left an impression." she declares proudly, "Soon we will be there."

He nods in response, his gaze focusing more intently on the city revealing itself with every step they take.

Small houses, huts and dilapidated buildings begin to appear. Doors and window shutters replaced with wood and metal scraps. Strings of laundry hanging above their heads. A whole society built on the remnants of the world before. He never imagined the bombs would leave a stone unturned (then again, no one believed a single soul had survived). The noise is growing as they are rounding one corner after another. It is midday and the market place before him is stocked with people and things. They chatter, they haggle, an argument erupts here and there, but even with his poor knowledge of the language, Kane senses it is lighthearted. Indra is glowing with pride at his awe. And he truly is at awe. He doesn't know where to look first – at the blacksmith clanging at the candescent blade, a woman cutting some sort of water creature then tossing it on the grill. Perhaps at the couple of cheery merchants toasting under the once red sign with 'Dona' written on it. It is incredible to see them so relaxed and peaceful. He once thought them near-savages in their world of war and survival. Now he can see them as much more than he ever dared to imagine. Indra has to pull him couple of times as he stops by the old subway entrance, or to watch children with smudged paint on their faces, even the wall with a mosaic-like drawing.

When they step in front of the tower, Kane is thrown from one daze into another. He looks up, tracing the many floors strengthened like other constructions. Its peak is hidden in the clouds. He's seen Earth from space, crashed Ark, Mount Weather… but this is overwhelming, it leaves him speechless.

The two warriors accompanying Kane and Indra leave and they walk up the stairs through the arched entrance where two statues watch over. On the left is a male warrior with a sword in his hand, a vicious animal at his feet. On the right is an armed female, stars surround her headdress.

They enter the great hall, high windows letting the soft light fall on the columns on each side. The whole room is graced with tranquil silence disturbed occasionally by the soft steps of servants. They walk on the floor made of tiles arranged in a jagged pattern. They walk towards a burly guard who opens an ornate metal door leading into a tiny closet-sized room. Reluctantly, Kane follows. He trusts indra but as the door closes he gulps. The room starts to shake, he is gripping the wall, big eyes staring at his companion.

"This is the only way to the top." she explains calmly.

He relaxes only a little, enough to let go of the walls. 'It's an elevator!' He shouts in his head. It moves unsteadily, he wonders how. What mechanism would they use? They are so averse to technology.

His questions are put on hold when the door opens. They are met with a long hallway. He could peer all the way to the end where the double door is. The whole atmosphere felt intimidatingly solemn. They start walking towards it, Indra as always with purpose, Kane following suit and trying not to gape around as they walk past the couple of guards. Indra halts and turns a few feet before they would reach their destination.

"This is where we part ways. I hope when we meet again it will be in good spirit."

"That is my hope as well." he smiles.

As she leaves, he takes a deep breath before pushing the heavy door open.

The piercing eyes of the Commander welcome him. It puts him somewhat at ease that they are not circled with dark paint. A tall, bald man by her side bows his head slightly.

"Welcome, Marcus kom Skaikru." she doesn't smile yet there is soft appreciation in her eyes. She gestures to a seat next to her.

He sits at the long table. His seat is almost identical to hers. She is not at her high, elaborate throne looking down at him. It is a good sign, he believes, this sitting arrangement.

"Thank you for arranging this meeting. I look forward to discussing the treaty."

Not the one for unnecessary pleasantries, Lexa gets straight to the point, "I have a proposition for Skaikru. Not a mere treaty or an alliance. Something more – a bond between two people from our clans, to symbolize the unity of us all."

"A bond?" he repeats slowly, unsure if he understands the implication.

"Yes, a marital bond between two high officials. Everything is settled on this end – the other clans have agreed to the arrangement. It will allow you free trade with all the other clans, more land and what is most important mutual protection and support. We will be regarded as one people as long as I am here."

"As long as you…" Kane, who has been prepared for anything but this, is still struggling to form a sentence. Politically, it is an excellent offer, but there is the other side.

"Yes, I will be the person representing my clan." she explains determinately, her rehearsed speech, "As for your part, I would need a high ranking member, respected by not only your but my people as well. It is pertinent that they know how to defend themselves; I do not want to waste good men on protection. To have basic knowledge of the language as well, though that can be learned over time. Of course, it is not my intention to separate two partners. I wish to make this as… " her jaw clenches for a brief moment, but long enough for Kane to notice," agreeable as possible. Do you accept?"

As she was speaking, couple of people crossed his mind, but with every next word the list was getting shorter, "This is an unconventional political strategy for my people. And while I do understand I must ask, and I apologize for prying, but what other duties would they need to perform?" he hopes his tone of voice conveys the underlying message.

It doesn't because for the first time he sees Commander confused. Luckily, the man by her side whose quiet presence was almost forgotten whispers something into her ear.

"Oh…" she lets out and this is the closest to her age she ever looked. After a moment her expression returns to normal, "We will attend the important meetings together, they will serve as a delegate of the Skaikru. Yes, we will share quarters but nothing more."

"I understand. However, the only person that meets the criteria is Bellamy Blake."

She shows no reaction to the name and Kane thinks he said it too quietly. Just as he is about to repeat she replies, "Good. His actions in the Mountain earned him the respect of many."

"That precisely is the problem, Commander. _Your_ actions at the Mount Weather, that is. Bellamy's distrust of your people is no secret. And as for his opinion of you… " he is trying to pick his words carefully, "He quite dislikes you."

"If this union does not happen, neither will peace." she assures him calmly, unfazed by his words, " It won't be long before I am forced to march on Arkadia."

Kane sighs, though her response is not an unexpected one, "I will divulge all information to Bellamy but I assure you he won't be happy about it."

"And I assure you that if you cannot persuade him in three days, there will be no hope of peace." she stands up, the meeting is over.

"We will speak soon, then." he gets up, "Goodbye."

They give him a horse and an escort to the forest, to where he met up with Indra. They do not utter a single word all the way. By the time he reaches outskirts of their territory, dusk has settled on the horizon. Commander's words go through his mind over and over again. It is a good offer. It is a great one. Sacrificing one man for the sake of hundreds of others seems like a small price to pay. He's sacrificed people before on the Ark, more times than he would like to remember. And he wouldn't be sending Bellamy into imminent death. But this isn't the Ark, he's trying to do better, to be better. He is unsure what to do.

He walks through the gates of Arkadia with heavy steps. Children, or once delinquents, are gathered around fire. Young Miller is telling a story, his boyfriend is pretending to be exasperated while others laugh. His heart swells at the sound of their laughter. If they can laugh after everything, there is hope.

He rushes to the medical wing, Abby will surely be there. When he tells her of Commander's offer, trying to sell is as best as he can, she is left dumbstruck. It is soon taken over by the mixture of anger and disgust.

"An arranged marriage with her?! You would trade a young man's life for what?"

"For peace. For future." he exhales slowly, "If you can think of any other way, tell me please because I've got nothing."

She shakes her head, unable to speak.

Better get this over with as soon as possible, "Can you call for Bellamy?"

She leaves without a word. She will understand, Kane tells himself, in time she will realize it was for the best. He flops into a chair burring hands into his hair. He's not sure how to go round this. His head is spinning, he wishes he could be the one to bear the burden. A soft knock interrupts him.

"Sir." Bellamy peaks through the door, "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. Close the door and take a seat."


	3. Chapter 3

'How did I get here?' Bellamy thinks. All he wanted was to stay close to his sister, to protect her. The ground was supposed to be their new beginning, a safe haven from impossible rules. Instead, it was full of Grounders thirsty for blood. Grounders who sold them the story of unity only to turn their backs on them the first chance they get. The only good thing about Lexa's betrayal was that Octavia got to stay with him.

He's in Mt. Weather, roaming the empty hallways. It still, probably always will carry that eerie vibe that makes him clutch the weapon closer. All he carries is a gun. There is no threat here anymore. He rounds the corner. The sign says 'Sector 5'. He isn't sure how he got there, but he keeps going drawn by the sense of warmth. Like that child's game. Warmth is pulling him closer and closer, one corner, two… he halts abruptly.

"Clarke? "

The blonde turns. He isn't sure if he should believe his eyes. She rushes into his arms like she did once or twice before. "Bellamy." his name sounds like a prayer on her lips, "I need your help."

"What's wrong?" she's dragging him towards the door, "When did you come back?"

"We need to hurry, Bellamy." she urges him. She's yanking the lever on the wall, "It's jammed."

Without a question, he grabs on another half of the handle and pulls. The rusty metal hardly budges. They look at each other and nod. Using all his strength, he finds support on the wall. The big lever is moving down slowly, opening the door with a screech. As it reaches the end he lets go, arms feel like they might fall out of the sockets. "We did it." he turns to Clarke. She's not there. She's left him. Again.

The heath and strong, sulfuric smell hit him suddenly. What they… he opened was the dining room. People of the civilization he helped wipe out are standing, watching him. Bits of burned skin are falling on the floor. Some are grinning, showing off their rotting teeth. He draws out the gun. In unison they begin to walk towards him.

"Stand down!" he screams.

When they don't, he shoots one in the shoulder. It or he stumbles a little and keeps walking. Bellamy turns and runs. He has to warn the others. He rushes but the stench is following him everywhere. His head is spinning, everything is just one big blur. He must have taken the wrong turn, there is no way out… those things are everywhere.

He shoots one in the head. That seems to do the trick. Six bullets left. He's alone somehow when a kid appears. He remembers him. Only now, he stares at him with yellow rimmed pupils.

"Where's my daddy?" he asks in a cracked voice.

Bellamy points the gun at his head, hands shaking, "I'm sorry." he lets out a soft whimper and closes his eyes.

"It hurts…"

Bellamy's eyes shoot open. "Octavia…" he lets out. "What…"

His sister is looking at him with dead eyes, burnt skin yellowish and red barely holding onto her face.

"Bell…" strange voice comes out of her, "Blake!"

Bellamy opens his eyes, Abby's worried face close to his. He springs up, heart racing, hands still shaking.

"Bad dream?"

He lifts his hand, puts it down. He opens his mouth then shuts them. He rubs his face, "What's going on?"

"Marcus wants a word with you."

Bellamy sinks back on the bed and puts his head in his hands. It is wet, hair sticking to his neck. His nostrils are still filled with that smell, "I'll be there in a minute." he hurriedly pulls on his uniform and rushes out.

He follows Abby across the camp, wondering what the hell is happening. Kane was gone all day, nobody knew where. Well, Abby clearly knew but wouldn't tell him. Only some cryptic responses to leave him more worried. Kane must have returned late, after Bellamy's double shift. He spots his friends gathered outside, joking around. The rare sight of smile on Monty's face makes him grin.

When they reach Kane's, Abby turns to him. "He's waiting." she tells him in a tone that makes it feel like she's sending him to be floated.

He watches her leave, rounding the corner before he decides to enter. He knocks then peaks through the door, "Sir. You wanted to see me?"

"Yes." Kane's head jerks in his direction as if surprised by Bellamy's presence. And then it turns into a blank expression that doesn't look promising, "Close the door and take a seat."

He pulls a chair, scraping of the metal surface ringing in his ears. As he sits, he notices Kane's eyes follow his every move. He stares back, silent as well. While Bellamy is looking at Kane with curiosity, he feels the older man is assessing him. Something heavy is on his mind and after what feels like an hour of silence, Bellamy's urge to ask prevails. There is only one thing that could cause Kane to act like this – those damn Grounders, "Sir, are we at another war? Should I check the weapon supply?"

Kane shakes his head like the idea is laughable, "No, nothing like that… How is the guard training going?"

'So, there is a threat.' Bellamy thinks, "Good. Lincoln and I are working with them. They will be ready for duty in… ten days tops."

He nods. Just a courtesy, the topic seems not to interest him much, "And your Trigedaslang?"

"Um…" Bellamy's confused. This feels like small talk. They don't do small talk, "All right, I guess."

"I went to Polis today."

Bellamy blinks in disbelief, "Alone?!"

"With Indra."

"You shouldn't have gone alone, sir. They could have-"

"It is a wonderful place. People from all around live and work together in harmony. I cannot describe it but it opened my eyes to new possibilities."

Bellamy is the one who is silent now. No, that's not what got Kane thinking. There's more. There always is with those people. He's waiting for the bad news.

"I spoke with the Commander."

And there it is. Bellamy smirks at his correct presumption.

"She had an interesting proposal that could open trading routs and most importantly prevent all future bloodshed between our people."

Bellamy snorts. Until better offer comes along, "Does she think we're stupid or that we had a collective amnesia?"

"She offers a marital bond." If that doesn't sound like a line out of the bad horror story, the next one surely does, "To her."

Bellamy bursts into a wholehearted laughter, his stomach begins to hurt. However, when he looks at Kane again, it all dies. It cannot be real, "With all due respect sir, have you lost your mind? You can't seriously be considering this. This isn't the Middle Ages. You can't just marry someone off, especially not to that monster!" he springs to his feet, the chair falls with a loud clang. The idea of her being that close to any of them makes his blood boil. He wants to take the chair, smash the entire place. How could anyone entertain such idea?! "She will annihilate us all without giving it a thought if it serves her. Do you really think a marriage would make any difference? No, she's not to be trusted… This will not happen. No…"

Kane's waiting for Bellamy's word to run out. All he's left is heaving chest and throbbing temples. There's more, Bellamy realizes. Kane's pitting look says is all, "Who is it?" he asks with the last breath in his lungs.

Kane stands up, his chair does not make a sound, "Calm down, Bellamy. Sit."

His open arms seem welcoming and understanding. But this time Bellamy doesn't obey. He steels himself in the spot.

"We are at the crossroad, the Grounders are restless. This is the only way to bring peace and prevent any other clan from attacking. Lexa confirmed only the public duties of a spouse will be required. A delegate with a formal bond to the Commander."

"Who. Is. It?" Bellamy asks forcefully, fiery anger palatable in his voice. He feels he's losing control over himself. His hand are shaking, eyes burning, Adam's apple is wobbling as he breathes.

"She requires someone close to her rank, single, respected by both Trikru and Skaikru… The one able to defend themselves and preferably know some Trigedaslang…" With every word his voice is becoming more quiet but the words are echoing loudly enough in Bellamy's head. As Kane looks away and bows his head in shame, it all clicks.

Bellamy feels like smacked in the gut. The sickening feeling of acid moving up to his throat is overwhelming. He stares at the back of the man who couple of minutes ago he admired greatly. He looks small and old. But Bellamy will not let him off the hook. He will not make the end easier. So he pushes his chin up and asks coolly, daring him, "Who is it?"

Kane turns, somehow having the decency to look him in the eye. His eyes plead not to say the word but Bellamy refuses to budge, "You." he finally utters.

Only after that verbal confirmation does Bellamy allow himself to fully comprehend the meaning of the entire conversation. That evil thing is trying to humiliate them and Kane has agreed to bow his head after one stern look. He can almost envisage the scene. The big bad Commander and the naïve Sky person. And what now? Bellamy should do the same? Not the same, the worst. Marry and do who-knows-what… the sole possibility of being in her presence is giving him murderous thoughts.

"… it's the only way, Bellamy. She's accepted you and we have two days to respond." Kane's voice is seeping back into his mind, "I'm afraid if this falls through-"

As Kane's hand touches his shoulder, Bellamy jerks away like burnt. He needs to get away or he'll do something he might not even regret at this point. He yanks the door open.

"I _am_ sorry." Kane repeats but the words sound hollow.

Kane threw him into this mess; his sorry won't do him any good now. Bellamy cannot listen to the hypocrisy anymore… it's like the Ark all over again - sacrifice the poor and the expendable, "You should be." he hisses before leaving his mentor to wallow in self-pity.


	4. Chapter 4

Bellamy's knees dig into the soft, muddy ground. He looks down, the ground is not damp from the rain but from the blood of his people. A Grounder takes a handful of his hair and yanks it back. Bellamy must watch. That is his punishment. He must watch as the Grounders plow through the camp, taking down his people like they are nothing, leaves of grass. They are screaming, running, begging all in vain. Like it is in vain his attempt to break free from his captives. His whole helpless body is shaking, tears are blurring his vision, screams are deafening yet he can still fully smell the blood. It is something like copper and metal from the Ark (which is now in flames). Something shields him from the horrible sight, a figure. It is the Commander, her hollow eyes fixated on his. Again, he is struggling against the restrains and pain, anger is fueling him with the adrenaline. He'll endure anything just to get his hands on her.

"Bellamy!" he's imagining the voice, maybe it is that small part of himself that still wants to live, "Bell!" Only when his sister is tossed in front of him does he find the source of the words.

"O!" he screams.

She pulls herself up, ever the survivor. But there is not much left in her. All bloody and broken… defeated.

"O!" he chokes, "O, It's going to be fine, don't worry."

He musters enough to smile and not wince from the cut across his left cheek.

She nods, again trusting her big brother. Then her body like in a strange spasm arches forward. A blade lurches out of her chest. The world stops. Slowly, soundlessly she falls to the side. Bellamy just stares as her last breath is leaving her blood stained mouth.

"This is your fault." the Commander accuses. As he is looking up her, the blade is swinging at his neck. He shuts his eyes and steels himself.

His eyes fly open to the rusty ceiling above his tiny bunk bed. His eardrums are filled with the sound of his erratic heartbeat, lips salty from tears.

"Fuck." he mouths. Not only is the past haunting him but the future possibilities as well. The beeping of the alarm finds its way to him. It's time for his shift. But he cannot will himself to move. Everything is just so tiring. He cannot remember the last time he woke up rested. To be honest, he can rarely remember going to bed at all. Only the nightmares are there to convince him that he indeed was getting some sleep.

Somehow he drags himself out of the bed and to his post. There he has all the time he needs to stare into one dot and let his mind be overcome with worry and regret.

 _This is your fault._ Is still ringing in his ears more loudly that that annoying alarm. Is it? Will it be? Is he the one meant to save or doom his people? He never believed in destiny. That was for the noble heroes and demi-gods of the ancient world. It seems ridiculous that he was and still is willing to kill and die for them but not to live. At least not like that and not with her. He is a soldier not a diplomat. And right now he is tired of being that as well. The truth is he is just a brother to a girl born against the law.

"Bell." he can hear her call. The last plea before dying, "Bell!" his sister, his responsibility.

"Bell." Octavia swirls him around. He is caught off guard by her presence, as if he was still stuck in thee dream, "Are you deaf?" her expression shifts from vexed to worried within the second of seeing his face, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Bellamy responds far too quickly for her liking.

She scoffs, "I know you, big brother."

He moves his gaze over her shoulder where Abby is still fighting a losing battle of trying to convince Raven to take things easy. Sometimes it feels like she's resigned to the fact that there's no curing her. Abby can't do anything. Maybe the Grounders have something to help… Lexa might… but it's her fault Raven's the way she is, "What do you know about the Commander?"

"Why…" Octavia's expression is the one of utter confusion, "Bell, what's going on?"

He wants to spill everything then and there; it has been lodged in his throat for longer than he ever wanted it to be. If he doesn't speak soon, it might choke him. However, there are too many people here, someone may overhear them, "Tonight. Meet me at my room." tonight she will tell him what to do.

She nods reluctantly. She knows that tone, he almost never uses it but there is no arguing with it.

The day passes rather quickly. With the scouting mission and the guard training, it helps him get his mind off things. Even Lincoln kicking his ass in front of dozen of trainees doesn't bother him much. In a weird way it helps. It exhausts him enough to make him eat, undistracted by the impending doom.

When he finally retreats to his room, Octavia is already there dutifully sharpening her sword.

"Do you really have to do this here?" he still doesn't like that she's found her place with the Grounders. And neither do the others.

"It's not like I can do it in the middle of the camp." she mutters but puts the sword away, "What's going on?" she asks, now timidly.

He sighs and sits on the bed. Where the hell should he start? "Kane went to Polis. He spoke to the Commander about the future of Arkadia. They want us to become the thirteenth clan."

She relaxes at the information. _Such premature reaction_ , Bellamy thinks.

"The clans decided on an arrangement to assure the alliance. That's what they said." he continues slowly almost whispering. He is reliving the conversation with Kane, repeating his words almost to a letter. Now Octavia is reacting in a more expected way. She is getting mad; her face muscles twist in anger, hand gripping the hilt of the sword.

"… and now Kane thinks, now they want…" one word, one last word and he cannot utter it. If he does, it will make it too real. His eyes are glued to the boots. They are all raggedy, the sole of the left one too worn out. He should have that mended.

Octavia places a hand on his shoulder and in a soft voice, which at that moment resembles their mother's, asks him to look her in the eyes.

Only when complies does he realize he is on the verge of tears. They prickle like needles, "… Me." he manages to finish.

He isn't sure if she is more angry or sad. She lets go of the sword and takes his hand in hers'," It's ok."

If only, "What should I do?" he asks but she is as lost as he is.

"I can't, Bell. I can't make that decision for you."

"Sure you can." Bellamy retorts, only half joking.

"I just don't want you to ruin your life like this. You deserve so much more after everything you've done for us. But…" her lips are quivering, he sees she doesn't want to say the next part, "As much as I hate her, this is the best way to bring peace."

"I know that!" he slips away from her grasp. He is marching left and right in a cage-sized room, "Just tell me something concrete. You are my sister; I have no one but you. You should have a say in this. I need to give an answer by tomorrow."

He looks at her sister, she is desperate. He can't do this to her, it would be so much easier if he could but he can't. It is his burden not hers. He flops next to her and comments lightheartedly, "If I knew you would be of no help, I wouldn't have told you."

She lets out a small laugh and pushes him, "Shut up."

"Ouch." Bellamy is rubbing his shoulder partly feigning the hurt. She's not aware how strong she's become in every way imaginable.

They sit like that for a while, both lost in their own thoughts about tomorrow.

"I'll stand by you whatever you decide." her steely gaze is the assurance she means every word. "Always."

Instead of responding he hugs her and kisses the crown of her head. He used to do that when the darkness of the Ark would be too much for her. But the darkness he is in can't be kissed away, "I love you, O."

"I love you too, big brother." she squeezes him tightly before letting go, "Lincoln's probably wondering where I am. I should…"

"Sure." he nods. There is no need for her to be dealing with his problems any more.

She hugs him again, a reminder she is always there than dashes out.

Bellamy falls back on the mattress. The day has passed and no decision. Whatever he chooses, it will change many lives forever.


	5. Chapter 5

It is here. The day for the decision. The judgment day. Save for the four people, for everybody in the camp it is an ordinary day. Better than ordinary as it turns out. It is sunny but not scorching hot. It is unbearably pleasant. The day has apparently decided not to coincide with the seriousness it is supposed to carry. The breakfast's been all right, all things considered. However, Bellamy only takes couple of bites and spends the remaining of the time picking at the rest. His sister's words about the decision being his plague his mind. For the first time, he wishes someone would take the choice away.

The first shift is his today so he buries himself in work. He goes over the every inch of the gates making sure there is no potential breach. He cleans every weapon they have and helps Sinclair with some boxes. The hunters come back with two boars (a great day indeed) and he helps them carry them into the kitchen. He skips lunch though (the dread is twisting his insides) and retreats to his room. The worst thing is that once again Kane manages to catch his eye. Kane and his pitying looks that don't make anything easier. Over time, somehow he enters the state of daze; there is absolutely nothing on his mind.

 _Knock, knock._ Is it dawn already? He must have dozed off. _Knock, knock._ The Grounders have come for him. For the answer he does not yet have.

He opens the door to a Grounder, but it is not the one he's expected, "She's not here."

"Actually, I came to see you." he pulls nervously the collar of his jacket, "May I come in?"

Bellamy is not the one for company at the moment, but really it couldn't do any harm. He gestures for his surprising guest to enter and shuffles back to his spot.

"What's up, Lincoln?" he asks the man who is taking a seat at the desk. He still looks uncomfortable wearing guard's uniform, the sign of the Ark like a brand of mockery. It isn't, of course but some of the more radical Arkers would whisper sardonically whenever Lincoln would walk past them. That's what he gets for being the only honorable Grounder to stand with them at the mountain.

Anticipating Bellamy's unwillingness to speak, Lincoln decides to end the awkward silence before it spreads, "I know about the treaty and don't get angry, Octavia's just worried about you."

Not one day, one single day could she keep it from Lincoln. Bellamy shakes his head and laughs. He isn't even mad. He is relieved actually. Lincoln has the insight others do not.

"So, you know I have to make the decision today or your _great_ Commander will slaughter us all." all right, now he is getting mad. He looks up at his friend, unable to truly comprehend him, "How could you follow such monster?"

"Our world before," he begins after a pregnant pause, "Was much worse than anything you've ever seen. She's done a lot for her people. But the way she abandoned you at the mountain… I have no respect for _that_ leader." the fact about the kill order on him remains unsaid.

"Then how can you expect me to trust her with my people's lives again?"

"I know it would be hard to trust her. She's lost respect of many, even some clan leaders. And Nyko assures me that some of them are on your side. You don't have to trust her just keep an eye on her... I believe Clarke would have wanted you to do this."

Bellamy's eyes shoot up at the mention of her name, "Oh, Clarke would have wanted?! Well, maybe I would have wanted that she hadn't left me. But she didn't give a damn about me, did she? Why should I care then?"

Lincoln realized mentioning her name was a mistake, he is looking at him with remorse.

Bellamy breathes deeply for a couple of seconds to compose himself before continuing, "She's gone, Lincoln. She left us."

Lincoln steps towards him and puts a reassuring hand on Bellamy's shoulder, "I know. But right now, this is the only way to keep your people safe."

Deep down Bellamy's known all this time what the only possible answer is. The deadline was just given to him to come to terms with it. And now he has, "Thank you, my friend."

One Grounder left and that was it. None other came.

* * *

As the Sun was setting on the horizon, Bellamy was standing by the gate waiting for any sign of messenger. He is not moving nor blinking. He doesn't lean against the gate. It would give him some comfort and for what is coming he needs to stay sharp. The people are looking at him strangely and any who dare ask him something is met with his low growl. The Sun sets completely and the Moon is starting to take its place in the sky.

Bellamy gives one last look towards the woods and spits out one word, "Cowards."

As he marches past the only people who know of the proposal (and were impatiently standing there for the last two hours), he can hear Lincoln say, "I don't understand."

Well, neither does he. He's been through his own personal hell to honor his end of the bargain and she doesn't even bother to show up or at least send someone. What kind of sick game is she playing?

All the pressure gets to him at once the moment his head hits the pillow. It is unclear whether it is relief or the fact that he's just fed up with everything that puts him to sleep. Though, that doesn't last long. Some unease seeps into his unconsciousness. Like someone is there, watching him. He shifts, sliding a hand under the pillow. The knife is under his fingertips. He feels the movement and in one swift motion pins the intruder to the wall.

"What do you want?" he barks at the hooded figure. They are silent, not resisting and Bellamy doubts the only reason is the knife against their throat, "Who are you?" he smacks them against the wall again and yanks the hood off.

In shock, he takes a step back bumping against the bed frame, "Commander."


End file.
